day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year; life can be beautiful- and then it can get ugly.
It can be happy and then it gets sad, it can be pleasant and then turn awful; in the blink of an eye. But somehow we get through it. Slowly, until it happens again.
Losing family and friends is unbearable, and we all experience it our own way and not always in the same time frame. It’s a pain that really hurts, bad. It seems like it will never go away. I guess it never really does. We just learn to accept it and go on, it takes time, and it takes its toll.
I mentioned in an earlier post of our dear cousin Ray that fell one day and started getting unsettling symptoms. Unfortunately cancer in the brain was diagnosed, and then it spread. He fought hard but lost the battle and never got to go home as he wanted, passing in the hospital. Then only a few months later, one of my closest friends, Joni, lost her husband to complicated heart problems. He was rushed to the hospital, but he sadly never made it home again either. It’s been rough for Joni and Martha. My heart goes out to them. We are sorry for the loss of your husbands.
They say these things happen in threes. My mind went where it shouldn’t have, and thoughts crossed my mind of my husband. But then we got the call that my brother fell and damaged his pelvis. Along with heart problems, he spent a month in the hospital and a month in rehab. He didn’t improve so was sent home to have 24 hour hospice care. Jerry and I were there to greet him. We met the caregivers and Ted seemed to like them. He went to bed that night and was never able to get out of bed, never walking again. We made trips to Reno as he needed us. Unfortunately he also passed peacefully within six weeks. At least he got to go home. Probate is almost finalized, the house sold in March, his taxes were done on time, we paid bills as they came in and still do. I’ll miss our visits with him, not hearing his voice on phone calls, not getting his quirky letters.
Then again, while still in Reno, we got a call from Linda that Midas had been hit by a car and didn’t survive. I was devastated, no that can’t be. I wasn’t with him. It’s not fair. I can’t believe it.
You all know Midas was a street cat for 15 years. He knew the ropes, he was street smart. He never wanted to come in the house, no matter how we bribed him. He had a nice cozy porch to protect him. Then we got that hard rain one year, an atmospheric river they called it, we opened the door and he ran in this time. But outside still beckoned him to come out. So we reluctantly granted his wishes. He was happy staying in most of the day, but outside was where he could roll in the sand, get a bite of fresh catnip, check out HIS neighborhood.
We came home to an empty house that trip from Reno. Very sad. We loved him so much and miss him terribly. The house isn’t the same without him.
But like I said life goes on. We adjust. We deal with it, but it still hurts and takes it toll😥
~~~~~
On a happy note 🙂 we leave next Tuesday on Amtrak to Washington to see Hannah and Javier and those two precious great granddaughters. Then drive to Portland to see Jessica, and we get to meet her boyfriend, Carter. Then back on Amtrak heading home. We have a lot of plans while there and I’m looking forward to posting on the blog again.
so stayed tuned for lots of pictures
💗jilly
Once in awhile-now and again-this is us 
Thank you for this beautiful and poignant blog and your kind words for Marty and Joni. I am still not coping well with losing Ted. So grateful you guys were there for him. I miss Midas, too. When I came over to visit with him, often he was nowhere to be found, and then you’d come home from Reno and he appeared in three seconds, as he loved you and missed you so much.
I am excited for you, your trip is coming up so fast. Will be wonderful for you guys to see Hannah and Jessica and your lovely great granddaughters again.
Can’t wait for your next blog.
Love, Celia
Jill, you are such a talented writer ❣️ I look forward to your next blog, 😊 Hugs, Paula
What you wrote is very touching and true. Losing someone you love and care about is hard and the days without them are not the same. It makes me appreciate people whom I love more.
I hope the trip to see Hannah& family and Jessica & Carter would bring you so much joy and unforgettable moments. Thuy
This is a beautiful, poignant post. your words touch my heart.
These sad things are so hard to bear but they come to us because of the love we have in our hearts, and you’re very loving, Jill. I hope your trip will be extra special and enjoyable. And… we get to see pictures of your two grandbabies!! Love you, Sharon
I’m sorry for your suffering and for the suffering of all the loved ones touched by these events. I love you.
grammie you truly know how to capture thoughts and feelings on paper. i’m so sorry for your loss the past couple months but i hope brightness shines in your future. i cannot wait to spend time with you and see ian next month. i love you. 💗💗
-emily cunningham
A difficult season of loss. Sending love to all who are missing the love and laughter that these men(and man cat) brought to your lives.
I’m looking forward to hearing about your next train adventure to see my kids and grandkids. Plus all the intrigue and beauty you find along the way. Will you see some hearts along the way??
You have suffered multiple losses this year, each one adding to your weight of grief. In every case, you have carried the burden with grace and heart. Family, friendship, and animal companionship all have been hit, and regardless of foreknowledge or surprise, every death deals a powerful blow of sadness.
Joni and Esar made a memorable couple, warm and strong. Frank and I were lucky to have met them. We always will cherish the memory of the time we spent with them in your company. We didn’t get to meet Marty or Ted, but your affectionate stories of them were the product of pure love
(Our other comment was sent before we could finish by including Midas)
Midas’s love and devotion for you was a joy to experience, rare among pets and with a vivid personality uniquely his. He knew your schedule and trained you well regarding lap time, water sources, and entertainment. He assisted you as neighborhood hosts. Often he would wait outside while you visited, and when you were out of town he kept a faithful lookout for you on the porch. Long before he regularly came indoors, he braved both your house and ours to search for you in every room before he was satisfied that you were indeed away and not hurt or hiding. We miss him and cannot even imagine how much you must miss him.
Now you are up north with the younger generations, and we hope that happiness with them provides present consolation as well as forward-looking joy to you.
Sending so much love to you and Grandpa ❤ I’m so sorry about everything recently and about Midas. He had such a lovely life with you and Grandpa and all of the neighborhood friends. He has always had his special place on the porch with his little bowls ever since I can remember. I remember giving him catnip and watching Grandpa play with him. Good memories ❤
This was a beautiful post. I love you both so much
-Amy 🙂